Promptings or me

Been praying a lot about my current situation. Something keeps telling me he will come back in his own time that he will realize how much I love him and how right for each other we are. I am worried that this is just myself trying to make myself feel better but I sure hope its not. the littlest things burst me into tears unlocking the door to see his key on my key ring. or seeing that the gravel in the driveway isn't flat from where he used to park. I still find myself moving my hand to his side of the bed just to touch him only to feel cold empty sheets. Looking at the clock at his break times and knowing my phone is not going to ring anymore, but out of habit I still keep it right next to me.

I text his mother happy mothers day. She said she was "sorry to hear the news... but if things are meant to be there will be a way to work it out. If not the door should be closed..." I am trying so hard to get him to try to work it out with me but it seems he has closed the door already. just wish i knew why.

I spoke to my friend Rachel she said "I bet the lord is using this time to help him become even better (for me)" and perhaps that is why I have this feeling he will come back in his own time. I sure hope she is right. and I really hope I can start to tell the difference between the lord speaking to me and my own emotions creating answers. Once I decipher the difference I'm sure I will come to peace with what ever the lord has in store for me.