the reality of our scary world

Lately it seems many things keep popping up on human trafficking i came across a show on my instant watch netflix that was called "very young girls" then today a friend on facebook posted an artical from vanityfair.com "sex trafficking in america the girl next door" about two young girls who were forced into prostitution being sold from pimp to pimp. (this is not just in other countries it is right here in america )the thought of this sickens me. these poor girls are repeatedly raped and beaten. They are forced to inject drugs  making them addicts and feel like they have to stay because they would never be able to supply the amount of drugs they need on their own. So many of these girls were girls from broken homes looking for someone to care about them. which is exactly what the pimps fed off of the gained their trust by giving them a home and nice things and telling them they love them... statistics show the average age of prostitutes is 13 years old. also 75%-80% of them are forced to be on the streets selling their bodies. i really feel that there needs to be higher awareness of this. many teen girls have self esteem issues these days making it that much easier for these animals to brainwash them and suck them into the life. this world is a very scary place. when i hear stories like this it hurts my heart how can we turn our heads to this i want to help to make the world a better place and if we all did we could achieve amazing things. if you are not able to get out there hands on at least spread the word of the dangers of the world educate your children the best you can so they dont fall victim to these dangerous people.

I Survived the End of the World... Do I Get a T-shirt?

Cant believe all the hype over the end of the world I think this is the third end of the world I have survived do I get a t-shirt or something? The poor people who gave their life savings to this false profit so sad. I read a story about a family with 3 teenagers the parents believed this guy gave him everything they had. They stopped saving for their children's college... The mother even told her 16 yr old she was going to hell. Anything these poor kids tried to accomplish was never encouraged by their parents they were told "why bother? the world is going to end." Hello people have faith in God not man!!!

On another note I am exhausted worked over 40 hours in 3 days last week and had the party this weekend. Doesn't help that I haven't been sleeping well since he left. but I have been doing much better dealing with that. it just wasn't meant to be I guess.

The birthday party went great had 9 kids (most of which RSVP after the date I asked but oh well they came) thanks to all the prayers!!! she had a blast. Our party host at the bowling alley was worthless I did all the work myself. I plan on calling to complain about that.

Got all my laundry done yesterday and cleaned the house so all in all its been a very accomplished week and weekend. Considering we weren't supposed to be here past Saturday.

Birthday for a Ladybug

Im worried about my daughters birthday I sent out invitations two weeks in advance and I gave them until tomorrow to RSVP and no one has. We did her birthday party early this year because no one ever shows up to her birthdays due to it being summer vacation. and now still no one is coming as of yet and we invited the whole class. This kid has such a huge heart and she is looking forward to her friends coming to the party. what will I do if I have to tell her no one called to say they were coming she will be heart broken. Does anyone RSVP anymore? How do I know how much food and cake to have? Are parents these days really that wrapped up in their own lives to take their kids to a birthday party? We dont even care about gifts we just want her friends there to celebrate with her. Please god remind the parents to RSVP so I dont have to worry anymore. Please let my baby girl have a great birthday party. I love my LadyBug.

It's Over for Now

I finally deleted his number from my phone. My heart screams OUCH!!

God said "Wait"

So I was going through random blogs yesterday and found a poem called wait it was all about someone looking for an answer from God and he said "wait." so that is my answer i am to wait not sure for what... it could be for him to better himself or it could be to wait for something better what ever it may be it will be great i just hope i dont have to wait too long i am sick of waiting but ill try my best to be patient.

P.s. the door is closed

Promptings or me

Been praying a lot about my current situation. Something keeps telling me he will come back in his own time that he will realize how much I love him and how right for each other we are. I am worried that this is just myself trying to make myself feel better but I sure hope its not. the littlest things burst me into tears unlocking the door to see his key on my key ring. or seeing that the gravel in the driveway isn't flat from where he used to park. I still find myself moving my hand to his side of the bed just to touch him only to feel cold empty sheets. Looking at the clock at his break times and knowing my phone is not going to ring anymore, but out of habit I still keep it right next to me.

I text his mother happy mothers day. She said she was "sorry to hear the news... but if things are meant to be there will be a way to work it out. If not the door should be closed..." I am trying so hard to get him to try to work it out with me but it seems he has closed the door already. just wish i knew why.

I spoke to my friend Rachel she said "I bet the lord is using this time to help him become even better (for me)" and perhaps that is why I have this feeling he will come back in his own time. I sure hope she is right. and I really hope I can start to tell the difference between the lord speaking to me and my own emotions creating answers. Once I decipher the difference I'm sure I will come to peace with what ever the lord has in store for me.

break up and the breakfast

As me and my daughter sat at Village Inn the day after my most recent break up,(with the 3rd man who said he wanted to marry me but never formally asked) I couldnt help but notice a woman about my age a few tables away. She appeared to be a single mother and by this I mean she had no ring on her finger and had a little boy with her. I am kind of a people watcher and by the look on her face it seemed like she was feeling the same way I was... Alone, overwhelmed perhaps...

 I got to thinking I wonder if she feels like the whole world is sitting on her shoulders. I felt like asking her... single mother? and imagined her reply of "yes." and which I would have replied "I know what you are feeling." but for some reason I couldnt seem to bring myself up out of the booth to do it. Would it have made a difference?

I have seemed to always have this thought in my mind that I need a man to complete me and make me happy, as i am sure alot of young women do. If I had one wish it would be that no woman ever feel alone. It is truly the worst feeling in the world. I really want to start some projects to reach out to young single mothers. Just not sure where to start.